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Star Wars: The Force Dozes Off

Star Wars: The Force Dozes Off
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First off I want to start with a spoiler. Star Wars is rubbish.

Not the new one as I have not seen it. But that first one is just plain tosh.

I am going to pause now why you make some venomous notes to chuck back at me at the bottom of the page…..

I have never liked Star Wars. Not for one moment in my life did Star Wars ever go beyond being the two hours or so in the cinema when I saw it. I left the Odeon in Middlesbrough and then it was gone from my life. A bag of popcorn, 120 minutes of escapism then off for a curry ‘just around the corner from this cinema’.

For the past year I have had to wipe my Facebook with a handkerchief every day as men have been salivating over the mere dribble of information about the launch of the new movie. Of course I have taken the dark side and abused them back.

My sad 40something mates force (look even a Star Wars gag for you) their own passion on to their kids. They have tried to use peer pressure on me but I am a grown man now and I will like what I like. So there!

I am his father!

My son has no interest in Star Wars either. He has seen none of the movies. He is 8 so still technically under the 12a radar in which the film exists. However I don’t think he will ever understand the hype as raising my eyebrows and tutting do not create a buzz in his world.

Another craze thrust upon Dads to their sons has also passed us by. My son does not like Lego. I never did. It is in the house but, like me, he gets bored after a minute and starts to wonder why there are no round or curved pieces. It would be so much better than the boxy stuff it makes now. Again I can feel your blood boil.

I have to say I do like JJ Abrams so I am sure it is a good movie. Maybe not as good for it for those of you who will love the backlinks, connections and hidden meanings that are sure to make you go all doey eyed and pathetic.

Some of my mates have already taken their kids twice! Twice I tell you!! I only wish I could use many more exclamations to get across my incredulity. Allow me one more please!

So is this film for men in their 40s or for a new audience? Has this audience actually been created by these men? I assume so but I wont ask as that is rude. And will Star Wars ever go away or will the kids of these kids be dragged along to Star Wars 15: Chewbacca Goes On A Saga Cruise in another 20 years time.

Please don’t watch this space!

(13)

Two Point Four Dad Two Point Four Dad is just your average Dad who tries his best, gets it all terribly wrong, blames someone else, and then comes out smelling of roses. In his dreams!!

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